The girlfriend sprained her ankle when she tripped and fell down inexplicably on the living-room floor. So my mission today was to get her some crutches she could use for just a couple days to hobble around the house on. We didn’t need any miracle of modern medicine or anything made out of titanium or whatever material crutches are made out of on the international space station. We just needed some basic, ordinary, run-of-the-mill, everyday crutches. Maybe even wooden crutches.

So I toodled on over to the thrift shop and found a pair for $7.99. They were taped together, and the price tag said: $7.99, 2 pieces.

When I checked out, the clerk rang up each crutch, and I pointed out that the price tag says it’s $7.99 for the pair. Not each crutch.

And the guy gets really irritated and says: You could have told me that earlier. Like before I rang them up. Then he snatched my credit card and made a noise like a guttural heavy sigh.

Huh? Really? Dude, you’re the one who works here. The crutches are TAPED together! And who buys just one crutch anyway?

Damn, hostile thrift shop guy. Calm down. I have to say, you scared me a little.