The Donut Mill: Out of donuts, again

We’ve had a very rocky relationship with The Donut Mill in Woodland Park, and I’m sad to announce today that we’re on the outs again.

I’ve suggested before that when you’re called The Donut Mill, it’s reasonable to expect donuts. But four out of the five times we’ve been there, regardless of the time of day or day of the week, they’ve been out of donuts. The one time we went when they had donuts, we were so pleased we wrote about it.

Don’t get me wrong: When The Donut Mill actually has donuts, they are delicious. This last time we went, we even brought guests along. And after suggesting that since they’re always out of donuts, they maybe ought to, I don’t know, make more donuts, the surly counter guy snipped that we should maybe get there before one o’clock. Wanting a donut after 1 p.m.? What were we thinking?!

So because we like to offer free business advice, we have a few suggestions for The Donut Mill.

  1. If you’re out of donuts by 1 p.m., maybe you should make more donuts to start out with.
  2. If you’re out of donuts by 1 p.m. and you don’t want to make more donuts, maybe you should just close at 1 p.m.
  3. The easiest solution to the whole problem, of course, is to just change your name so customers don’t expect donuts in the first place. Here are some suggestions:
  • Donuts, Maybe
  • Sometimes Donuts
  • The Donut Possibility
  • Take-a-Chance Donuts
  • You Don’t Need a Donut Anyway, Fatty
  • Ice Cream

Maybe I’m taking this all too personally, but donuts are important.

At any rate, you know who wasn’t out of donuts? The Starbucks next door.

Starbucks donut, Woodland Park, Colorado
Starbucks: Not out of donuts.


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