U.S. Bank: F

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Tired of all the unreasonable fees, I closed my three U.S. Bank accounts. I went into the branch to do so; I withdrew all of my money and very specifically told the branch clerk to close the accounts.

A month later, I was assessed a random fee. I called the national number and closed the accounts again. The gentleman I spoke with was decent and said the fee would be waived.

Today, a month later, I have incurred yet another random fee, a maintenance fee for $4 because my account has a zero balance. Of course it has a zero balance because it’s CLOSED. Oh my god, what does a man have to do to close an account? Seriously.

At any rate, the woman I spoke to this time said they cannot waive the fee. And they can’t close the account because it has a negative balance now. Talking to this representative was like a dog chasing its tail. Close the account. We can’t because it has a negative balance. Then waive the fee. We can’t. I was like talking to a robot. A robot whose sole purpose was to agitate and infuriate me.

Does banking need to be this difficult? Really? I’m going to go into the branch again tomorrow and pray that I don’t end up in jail.