We’re smart, fit and unemployed!

Colorado Springs has been anointed the 15th smartest city in the nation. Doesn’t surprise me one bit because everywhere I go, I’m astonished by how brilliant everyone seems to be. Fifteenth. Not bad. Of course Boulder is No. 1 and Fort Collins is No. 5. No mention in the survey about Pueblo, though. Poor Pueblo.

Still, despite our striking intelligence (and movie-star looks), the Springs is a terrible place to find work, apparently. You’d think that with all this brainpower, we could somehow figure this economy out and make some jobs happen.

In 2009, Men’s Fitness magazine ranked the Springs the 2nd fittest city in the nation. Only 19 percent of us are “clinically obese”! Gallup says we’re No. 4 on the 10 Least Obese Metro Areas list. Sexy. Fort Collins and Boulder took the Nos. 1 and 2 spots. Forbes lists the Springs in its fittest cities compilation, but what the hell does Forbes know about fitness?

And we’re pretty good here in the COS about exercising our hate muscles, too, as the Springs-based Family Research Institute has been listed on the Southern Poverty Law Center’s hate-groups list. Nice.

But look, you can be fit, smart, exceptionally good-looking, none of it matters if Santa hates you. Thankfully, the folks at Zillow have determined that Colorado Springs is Santa’s favorite city. What a relief, because Wichita is No. 2, and who wants to live in Wichita? Gross.

Again, Pueblo failed to make the list. Poor Pueblo.